La Cocinera Políglota
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SEÑOR VENANCIOR

Éste es un diálogo disparatado y ficticio, con algunos toques de realidad. El frutero Venancio, apodado “el frutéror” no sé muy bien porqué, está atendiendo a una señora, ingenua ella. Al final,  en la calle, la guinda la pone Concepción, una transeúnte que, según se deduce, es experta en proclamar máximas filosóficas, ya que posee una sapiencia desmesurada, tal y como se puede comprobar a continuación.

 

Frutero -¿Qué le pongo, vecinar?

Vecina -¡Oh! Buenos días, don Venancio. Voy a preparar un gazpacho. ¡Oh! ¿Qué tengo que llevar?

Frutero –Tomáter, que los tengo muy buenor. ¿Cuántos kilos de tomáter?

Vecina -¡Oh! Póngame dos.

Frutero –Y ájor.

Vecina -¡Oh! Sí don Venancio.

Frutero –También le va muy bien el pepínor. ¡Mire qué buen pepínor! ¿Le pongo uno?

Vecina -¡Oh! Sí, mejor póngame dos.

Frutero –Tengo melocotóner de oror. ¡Qué maravilloso olor! ¿Algún aguacáter, vecinar?

Vecina -¡Oh! Sí, póngame dos. Que no estén pochos y chungos, por favor.

Frutero –No diga disparáter, ¡cojóner! No me ofenda, por favor, que yo soy un buen frutéror.

Frutero -¡Y qué melóner! ¡Dulces como el almíbar!

Vecina -¡Oh! Llevaré dos.

Frutero –Aquí tiene su compra y el cambior. Adior, adior.

…Ya en la calle:

Vecina - ¡Oh! Buenos días, Concepción.

Concepción –Hola. Voy a comprar magdalenas del horno, resssién hechas. Resssulta que yo sssoy sssabia, sssoy experta en magdalenas, en tanto en cuanto sssé sssi están buenas o malas.

Vecina -¡Oh! Igual que yo.

 

PD. Vaya trío. En mi opinión, los tres personajes de este desconcertante diálogo están apañados, tienen lo suyo encima cada uno. El protagonista me recuerda a un loro, por su dicción. La vecina compradora, tan insignificante y anodina que ni siquiera conocemos su nombre. Y respecto a la última que aparece en escena… mejor no opino. ¿Quién creéis que se lleva la palma de los tres?

21:01 | Toñi Flamil | 27 Comentarios | #

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Comentarios

1
De: Talbanés Fecha: 2012-04-08 07:40

jeje, mientras leía el diálogo mi mente se ha empeñado en poner la voz de Chiquito de la Calzada al Sr. Frutero. Besos Flamil!



2
De: la cocinera Fecha: 2012-04-08 13:13

No se me había ocurrido, pero tal vez sean "hermánor" o pariénter", jejeje.

Saludos, Talbanés.



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